Courtney's Story.

WORK WORK.

Trigger warning; this brave story discusses domestic violence and suicidal thoughts. Please read with care.

“Two Good has built up a confidence that had been completely drained out of me.”

"It's been life-changing, having that self-worth back again. I'm laughing and smiling again! I haven't been able to feel like that for many years. It’s amazing to feel like you're a part of something bigger than just yourself, too – not only are we helping ourselves, but we're helping others as well. Which is a big thing for me; I don't want more women to suffer as much as a lot of us have.

It can be scary to put yourself out of your comfort zone, but it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself. My first week here was very daunting – I kept thinking, I'm not going to fit in here, I'm not going to be good enough. But the love and care in the Two Good space makes you feel like you’re someone special…that you can do amazing things.

I love being a part of the team here. They're all so supportive and nurturing - I don't think that I would be as far along as I am, without that loving environment. My Work Work group is the 'Fusion Flavors' - we're all very close. That first week was emotional for a lot of us. We didn't know what to say, how much to say, if we were saying too much. Slowly a few things started to be shared, we had a couple of little group cries and cuddles…and I think that made a really tight bond.

We all stay in touch, we've all got each other's numbers, we all want to stay friends after the program - a few of us already go out and do things together. We're all really supportive of each other's achievements and encourage each other to do the best we possibly can. We all get so excited when someone gets new housing or a new job.

We all have so much in common, but we're all from so many different backgrounds and cultures - that's why we named ourselves the Fusion Flavours. We’re all so diverse, but we just melted together immediately…to make a beautiful new flavor.

It’s like a whole new little family. I’ve really enjoyed our Two Good lunches where we all just sit down together, too. I haven't had a family lunch like that since I was a little kid, when my grandparents were still alive. The fact that we get to do that every day is really special; even if we're crazy busy at work, we also have that time to sit down and chill out, laugh, joke with each other, we get to see people in different departments that we wouldn't get to see.

Even Rob (Founder + CEO) - he is such an amazing person. You don't see many companies where the CEO comes in and puts on a hairnet! You think, I'm just a kitchen assistant, I'm only here for six months - these people they don't need to know who I am. But he knows everyone's names, he knows what we're all up to. He's one of the crew. It's really special to have him be that close with all the staff. You can see his passion so much and that resonates a lot with me. I usually think of CEOs as being out for themselves, but it's completely the opposite with Rob.

Two Good is very close to my heart; I have a lot of love and respect for everyone there. I'll still be wearing my Two Good shirts everywhere. I tell people everywhere I go, whenever people ask me what it is – I ended up talking to my coffee cart guy for 15 minutes about all the work we do. A couple of times, us girls have even had people come up to us when we're walking to the train station and said, ‘thank you so much, we've had your meals before’. It's absolutely amazing.

All the love and support has been so healing. It's a truly heartwarming place. It’s like that part in The Grinch, when his heart ‘grew three sizes that day’’. Six months ago, I could barely leave the house. I'm on a high now – like I can do anything.

You can see it within the group as well. Everyone’s getting employment, new houses – one of us has even gone and started her own café! We're all brighter…we’re shining diamond versions of ourselves, compared to that first week."

“It's really beautiful to see. We’re like a little blooming garden.”

GOOD FEELS MEALS.

“When I was in the shelter, one thing I looked forward to every night was a hot, nutritious Two Good meal. For some people experiencing homelessness, you don't know when the next meal’s going to come. So when you do get it, it’s really nurturing for the soul. It makes you feel human again.

That’s how I knew about Two Good - so once my caseworker referred me to the Work Work program, I was so excited! I knew I wanted to be a part of that. Now, I actually get to see how much love really goes into them. A lot of thought, a lot of planning, a lot of work…but mainly, a lot of love.

You get to see so many different types of meals come through, when you're in the shelter - because everyone on the Work Work program gets to do their special meal, which I really love. When I made my own shelter meal recipe, I made it up on the spot. I love Vegemite, so I knew I had to do something with that. Jacquie (Program Chef) and I did a little brainstorming, and we came up with an amazing recipe for a Vegemite Mac and Cheese. I was thinking about a lot of the little kids in shelters, because there's a lot of sneaky veggies in there so it's actually really nutritious. But as soon as you say to a little kid you can have cheesy mac for dinner, they're gonna be pretty excited.

We ended up making five big trays - it was so much fun! I served everyone up for lunch and we were playing Happy Little Vegemite on Jacquie’s speaker. To be able to feed everyone there at the Two Good office, as well as make so many meals for refuges, was very special.

If I could send a message of love alongside those meals, I’d tell them to be strong…things are going to get better. There are so many points where you think it's not going to be OK, but Two Good changed my whole mindset about that. There are so many good people out there that can be an amazing support. It was really hard in the beginning to trust people again…but all the beautiful people at Two Good made it really easy.”

CHANGING MY COURSE.

“The day I left my ex was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving – I just got a backpack together and used my last $30 to get a train ticket.

I had been a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding, where my ex-partner abused me in front of the whole wedding party and threw a beer on me. When I was escorted out the front to get into the limo, he followed and started punching the car in front of everyone. I realised I couldn’t do this anymore.

I felt so low; I was not myself anymore. I was being humiliated all the time, including in public. I was contemplating suicide every day; I’d think, do I want to die? Is this the way out? But then I’d think about my mum, my little brothers and sisters, my nieces and nephews…so I finally left.

I ended up at Central Station with no idea what my next step was. I made a call to a temporary accommodation hotline called Link2home (NSW), and they moved me into a motel while they found me space in a crisis shelter. At that point, I thought, why on earth did I leave? I had a roof over my head, I had food…now I've got nothing. But I just kept trying to persevere.

“I knew I'd made some kind of right step towards where I wanted to be. ”

I kept going to the Housing Office every day - I learnt all the staff's names and tried to make friends with them. Even when I didn't have an appointment, I’d sit on the computers doing research, filling out forms, trying to find somewhere to live.

They eventually got me into a really nice refuge for women and children called Sanctuary House. They were absolutely God sent. From there, I got a caseworker assigned to me. She was a tough lady too - but I think I needed that, at the time. She’d say, ‘I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself’, which really gave me a good kick up the butt.

As depressed as I was - I didn’t want to shower, I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t want to eat - I just knew I had to keep going. I kept thinking, nothing's going to come to me unless I keep trying. I had to find a home, so I could get my cat back, who I’d had to leave behind for 3 months already. They’d already told me it was up to 10 years on the waiting list for transitional housing, so I knew I needed to find work, to get myself private housing.

The very same week my case worker referred me to the Work Work program at Two Good, I got accepted for a private rental! That time was extremely hard – mentally and physically exhausting. But something told me I had to keep going...there was something better not too far ahead. I wanted to do something good in life, so my family could be proud of me.

It's been a long, hard road - and I haven't quite got there yet. To take those first steps, they really are the hardest. But each little step you take, it seems you get more of a support network, you get more self-confidence. You build up your self-worth again. Each step gets a tiny bit easier. Not a lot, but a little each time. And Two Good has made those steps a little bit smoother…they take some of the bumps out.

Some of those old thoughts do come back sometimes; why did I leave? Why have I made myself homeless? But for a lot of people, it's a matter of life or death. I'm very lucky that I didn't have children in that situation; when I see some of the some of the women doing all of that with little kids, I absolutely bow down to them. To me, that's inspiring.

“They are some of the toughest women I've ever met in my life. Probably some of the toughest women that exist at all.”

That kind of bravery isn’t spoken about enough, but it’s so prevalent - it can be happening anywhere, to anyone. Even the happy couple down the street. Some of the girls in my Work Work group were talking about that the other day – how after you leave, people from the outside say they thought you were such a great couple; “You looked so happy!”, “They never seemed like that kind of person?”.

But these people are really good at manipulating – they're brilliant actors. They convince their own family, their friends, their partner's families. There needs to be a lot more openness. We need schools educating our young children how to treat each other. We need men talking to their friends about this stuff; it needs to be less of a taboo conversation.

Because not talking about it and not creating awareness, we’re letting it be kept hush-hush; don't talk about that, just let our neighbours get bashed, leave it be, we don’t know, don’t get involved.

No. Things need to change."

TWOMORROW.

“A couple of us in the Work Work program have gotten jobs in the past week – and I've just secured a position as a bartender. I'll start there, but I also I want to get into the events and things. Which I told them in my interview - I said, “Well, this is where I want to start - and this is where I want to be. Is there an opportunity for me to do that?” They seemed kind of impressed that I asked...I never would have had the confidence to talk like that in an interview, before our mock interviews and mentoring!

I still want to work with social enterprise and charities too. I was a part of a focus group last week with a big finance company who want to develop an app to help women experiencing domestic violence. I've been brainstorming and I've got so many ideas for our next focus group in a couple of months. For instance, I thought of a feature where you can make a police report directly from the app without making a single noise, if you can't make a phone call or leave the house.

I was also looking up Lady Gaga’s foundation, ‘Born This Way’ – they run online courses online on how to help people with mental health issues, how to help people out of domestic violence, how to approach someone one-on-one in a respectful and safe manner. So I'm going to check out some of those too.

I feel a million times more confident than when I first started at Two Good. I feel like a new person. Or rather…I feel like me again. These perpetrators, that's one of their biggest aims; for us to lose ourselves. They want us to have no confidence so that we don't go out and get a job, so that we don't make a support network. Two Good really injects that back into you…that you are worth it."

“You are still in there somewhere.”